🥟 Dim Sum Diary #7: The Gloomy Bloom
A reflection on restlessness, sacred discomfort, and the foggy threshold between who you were and who you’re becoming.
You’re no longer who you were.
But you’re not quite who you’re becoming either.
It’s foggy. Uncomfortable. Sometimes disorienting.
And yet… deeply sacred.
I recently returned from a little vacation in Athens.
The sun was glorious. The food was divine.
But as soon as I got home — with guests still in the house, and my rhythm just beginning to settle — I felt it creeping in.
A stirring.
Not burnout. Not collapse.
Just this foggy, low-grade dissatisfaction.
A bit grumpy.
A bit annoyed.
A bit angry that life wasn’t moving the way I wanted it to.
There was nothing visibly wrong — and yet, something inside was off.
That’s when the temptation kicked in:
Maybe I need another trip.
Maybe I should move.
Maybe the next success will shift this energy.
But I’ve been here before. I know now that the answer isn’t out there.
The Impulse to Escape
When this feeling arrives, it’s so easy to look outside of ourselves.
Food. Plans. Screens. Productivity. Spiritual distractions disguised as “growth.”
I caught myself checking post views again, even though I teach others not to chase validation.
I felt the impulse to keep doing — to fill the space, to feel better.
But underneath that, I was craving something else:
Spaciousness.
Rest.
Beauty.
Witnessing.
Freedom to not be the one who knows what to do.
And I wasn’t giving myself any of it.
The Sacred Fog
It’s funny — this isn’t a breakdown.
It’s not even a crisis.
But your nervous system still goes into subtle fight-or-flight.
Even though you don’t know what you’re fighting… or where exactly you want to run.
This is what I now call the gloomy bloom.
That uncomfortable, sacred fog where nothing is falling apart… but something is quietly reshaping.
It’s the moment in the yoga pose when you want to come out, but instead… you breathe.
It’s the dough rising before baking — a stage you can’t rush.
It’s the caterpillar dissolving before becoming something new.
Everything looks still.
But deep down, everything is happening.
What I’ve Learned
I used to think these feelings meant I was off-track.
Now I see them as messages.
My grumpiness?
It’s often my soul asking for realignment.
In this space, when I let myself pause and listen deeply — to my body, to my emotions — they speak loud and clear.
They show me exactly where my soul has already claimed sovereignty.
They offer all the clues I need to return to alignment.
And they ask me to start letting go of the old —
Old patterns.
Old identities.
Old ways of being that no longer fit.
Like cleaning out a closet your soul has outgrown.
If You’re in the Fog Too…
You’re not failing.
You’re not stuck.
You’re not behind.
You’re standing at the edge of a becoming.
And yes — it’s uncomfortable.
But it’s also sacred.
The gloomy bloom is not the end.
It’s the threshold.
If you can sit with it, if you can listen…
Something beautiful will begin to take shape.
🌀
We go deep into this space inside Module 1 of the Soul Voyager journey — learning how to stay present, listen to the body, and let your soul lead.